That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
