you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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