whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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