I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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