Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
