and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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