now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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