Pregnant stripper...not hot.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
