yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
