Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
