i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
