Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Randomize
