you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
