He is such a slut. More and more my type.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize
