I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
