he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
