Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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