not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
