i don't like sucking hair
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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