You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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