did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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