I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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