We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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