why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
