If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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