I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
