If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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