So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
