Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
How drunk are you?
Completed.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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