either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Randomize
