i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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