wakey wakey hands off snakey
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
