Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
