Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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