i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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