I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
We just shotgunned beers for America
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
