She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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