ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
