I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
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