So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
