I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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