We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
