True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
