This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
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my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
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I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
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