3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I just pynch a tree in the face
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Randomize
