I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
