after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
