You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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