I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Quick, to the slutcave!
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
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