yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
