What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
