I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
