Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
