Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
