I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I want a musical about memes.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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