Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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