He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
