***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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