Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
