they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
