Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
