For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
