so explain again why im purple
no
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
