3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize